I don’t know what I was expecting when I started How to Survive a Horror Story by Mallory Arnold, but I do know I was surprised. If you’re in the mood for something fast-paced and not too serious this could be a fun pick. Arnold’s debut leans all the way into the camp, and the result is a locked-room horror story that feels like a B-movie in the best (and occasionally worst) ways.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Poisoned Pen Press for the e-ARC of this novel in exchange for my honest review.

First Impressions

How to Survive a Horror Story leans so far into the tropes, it practically builds a house on them. Which, appropriately, is what this story’s all about: a deadly, mysterious house that traps its victims and then picks them off one by one.

This is not the kind of horror novel that lingers on dread or slow-building atmosphere. Instead, it goes for guts (literally), absurdity, and (hopefully!) self-aware mayhem. Think B-movie energy meets haunted house escape room. It knows what it is (I sincerely hope!), and it doesn’t pretend to be anything deeper than a fun, gory time.

What Worked

Lightning Pace: The story wastes no time. It throws you right into the chaos, and things only escalate from there. If you’re in a reading slump or just want a one-sitting book that doesn’t require emotional excavation, this is a great pick.

Inventive Kills: Horror fans who appreciate imaginative death scenes will find plenty to enjoy. The house itself feels like a character: unpredictable, malevolent, and increasingly bizarre in the ways it dispatches its victims.

Campy Fun: The dialogue, the setup, even the character choices all feel pulled from a late-night horror flick in the best way. I had fun. A lot of fun.

What Didn’t Work (As Well)

Too Many Cooks: One of the biggest challenges for me was keeping track of all the perspectives, although this is a common struggle I face with multi-POV locked-room thrillers. With so many characters jumping in and out of the narrator seat, I sometimes had to backtrack to remember who was who—and care about what happened to them.

Simile overload: Arnold is clearly having a blast with her descriptions, but at times it crossed into the absurd. There were moments where I stopped mid-sentence just to say, “Wait… what?” (Example: a character was described as being so close to another that it was as if they could see the pus under their whiteheads. Which, I mean, ok…. But also, a bit of a head-scratcher.)

Predictable Ending: While I was fully on board for the ride most of the way, the resolution felt a bit like taking the easy way out, and unfortunately didn’t quite land for me.

Final Thoughts on “How to Survive a Horror Story”

Arnold’s debut is loud, messy, and completely unhinged—in the most entertaining way possible. It’s not perfect (and it doesn’t try to be), but it’s a fun ride while it lasts. If you like your horror chaotic, fast, and soaked in blood with a wink at the audience, give this one a shot.

Would I recommend it to someone looking for thoughtful horror or a tightly plotted thriller? Probably not. But for a quick, gory, popcorn read? Sure. Just prepare for a few winces, and not just from the gore.